Daily Archives: June 26, 2010

Creeps

If I were a movie director I would more likely hire someone who has worked in retail than a professional actor. I’m not sure how many people notice, the amount of acting we have to do, and unlike television we cannot redo a scene if we mess up. As a retail sales person one basically has to remain happy, bubbly and helpful for a good 8 hours of the day.

This comes fairly natural when you speak to normal people however, often we have to convey these caring and cheerful emotions when really all we want to do is run screaming in the opposite direction. This happened to me the other day. I was blissfully serving a customer when into my store walked the scariest creature known to man kind, yes you all know who I am referring to, it is the creepy grandpa.

Creepy grandpas are the worst, when it comes to creepy people; creepy grandpas are without a doubt the top of the worst.

Unfortunately I was the only person on the floor so it was my duty to smile politely and offer him my assistance. At first I thought I had over reacted, maybe this was a sweet old man… but no matter what the saying is, do judge a book by it’s cover because with creepy people, your first impressions are probably correct. He asked to try on something and I happily obliged with bringing him his choices. He then asked me whether black or brown would be a better suit and I replied with black, as it goes with everything and is always safe. This is when his inner creepiness really came out. “What fashion school did you go to?” he asked ironically while wiggling his eyebrows up and down. They looked like two fat hairy caterpillars doing some kind of mating dance on his forehead. These caterpillars sprung into action every time he asked a question. At this point my acting skills started to fail and I stumbled and mumbled my way through the rest of the sales process. I was thoroughly creeped out by this man and his sexually active caterpillars.

As he left the store I got to thinking: Do creepy people know they are creepy? I did meet a very nice man once on my travels and he told me a story about how he once sat at a lake, but-naked playing the flute. A peculiar sight to come across for any bush walker I’m sure, especially when the naked man turns to the intruding walkers saying, “Shhhhhhhh, don’t disturb the frog!” Creepy: check! However a rather nice man, maybe a little obsessed with the peace of mind of amphibians but a nice enough human being.

Is the frog-man a one off, an exception to the rule? Or are creepy people…well just plain creepy?

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