Category Archives: Unemployment

The end of Stalking

I was meant to be writing a paper for Uni, unfortunately I am the champion of procrastination. If there were a subject on it, I could most definitely teach it. I logged onto Facebook, hoping for a good distraction; you never know someone could be “no longer listed as being in a relationship,” or they may just be utterly stupid:

However today I had no such luck, the bastards were all happy. So I decided to do some Facebook stalking. I’ve always wondered about stalking. I have committed such felony once, when I saw a band play and decided I absolutely must snag myself the guitarist or my life as I know it would be over. For the whole night my friend K and I followed them around, she had her eyes set on the lead singer. We did eventually get what we came for and I believe my stalking experience to have been a good one.

I always wondered what stalkers thought of Facebook, for one now everyone has become a stalker via Facebook, so the need for stalkers would definitely be at an all time low. Facebook has probably also taken much of the fun out of stalking, because honestly there is not much work left to do. People freely post every fraction of their lives on Facebook so there is no need to dig up any dirt on them.

They can’t even hang out front of people’s houses anymore taking photos as Facebookers willingly take pervey photos of themselves.

I feel a bit sorry for them after all their occupation has become extinct, a bit like my own.

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Filed under Unemployment


I recently found out that I now belong to the hopeless circle of the unemployed.

I got an interesting phone call, “B, I’m not really sure what’s going on but they are closing down the store, they are changing the locks as we speak so, well this is awkward, you won’t need to come in to work tomorrow or ever for that matter.”


I am not a person who works well unemployed. It seems the more I have to do the more I can get done. I need to work an extra shift: Great. The uni assignment is due tomorrow: Perfect I’ll start it at 10pm. You want a girls night out: I want a girls night out. But it appears when there are fewer tasks to do; I turn into what some people might call a lazy good-for-nothing couch potato.

This couldn’t happen. So I handed out resumes everywhere, and when I say everywhere I mean everywhere. It does lead you to meet some interesting people, an old smiling Indian for example who called his son on the phone while I was handing him my resume, “There is a girl here, she also go to F.Uni and study psychology. You want to say hello? Oh I am sorry. Yes. Oh I understand. I will not bother you now. Yes, Goodbye. Love you my son.” He then turned to me still smiling, “He wishes you all the best. If you work here maybe you meet him.” I just smiled and wished him a pleasant day; he would probably give me the job if I swore to marry his son. Other than that the other comment I heard the most was, “Sorry we are not looking for someone at the moment, but we can take your resume and put it on file.”

But I knew what this sentence meant, I had used it and said it in the exact smug way these people are using it now. When they say they keep it on file it means flick through it, laugh at it and then throw it in the bin.

At this point I was in desperate need of some sympathy, so I messaged my friend. There are no jobs available that want a full time uni student. I’m going to have to become a prostitute but they probably wouldn’t even take me because although it does say “excellent customer service skills” on my resume, I think we would have very different ideas about what that actually means. And to top it all off, there is a sale on at my favourite shoe shop, with the most beautiful most essential boots I have ever laid my eyes on. My life is in ruins.

But my “friend” here, decided that sympathy is not what I deserved: “Maybe this is a good thing, maybe this time period will teach you how to see things that you like, and not buy them. This could be healthy.”

Well this just annoyed me. Why should I have to change? So I marched right into that shoe shop and bought those essential boots…with the money I had saved for petrol that week. But who needs a car when I can walk in my beautiful boots?

After telling my friend about my protest against him, after all he should love me for who I am and now who I am is even better because now I have the boots. My response came as follows, “You need help. I hope you don’t find a job for ages. For your own sake!”



Filed under Unemployment